Sober
by Shinigami's Death Angel
Summary: "Ah, right. Wally's twenty-one today."
1. Sober

A/N: Just now realized that my past two fics unintentionally have the same title as P!nk songs**. **That's pretty darn awesome for my subconscious. **  
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**Sober**

"Hey, didn't expect to run into you here."

A slightly depressed Dick Grayson looked up to see a tall redhead grinning down at him, eyes warm and slender fingers gracefully wrapped around a chilled glass of beer.

"I didn't expect to run into me here either." Dick replied, attempting a smile but failing. As the other man took a seat on the barstool beside Dick's he decided it'd be a good idea to go back to staring morosely into his half empty tumbler.

"Are you even allowed to be here?" The redhead wondered offhandedly, his eyes taking a sweep of the crowded bar full of half-drunk people laughing and pressing up against each other. It seemed as if the secluded corner of the bar counter where the two of them currently were was the only relatively calm area in the place.

"I'm only having ginger ale." Dick replied, nudging his glass over for the other to take a careful whiff. Nodding in assent and taking a sip of his own drink, Dick's companion noticed the defeated slouch of his friend's normally proud shoulders and his almost hollow voice.

"Hey, what's wrong?" The words were softly spoken as a shoulder gently nudged at Dick's, seeming to finally snap him out of whatever slump he'd been in for most of the night. When Dick looked up, his eyes had cleared a bit and he actually managed a small smile.

"Nothing's wrong, promise. I'm just here as the designated sober driver." Dick picked his tumbler back up as he nodded towards a sizable throng of people surrounding a particularly raucous person who was obviously well on his way to being smashed.

Doing a quick double-take, Dick's companion noticed that the man who was currently the center of half the bar's attention was actually someone he knew almost as well as he knew Dick.

"Ah, right. Wally's twenty-one today." Roy nodded to himself, deciding to take a large swig of his drink before setting it resolutely on the counter and swiveling to tackle the mess of teenage angst that was currently beside him.

"Yep, good ol' Wally is now legal to drink and gamble his life away, and being the best friend that I am of course I'm sitting here watching him hit on every single body in this damn place." Dick replied bitterly, wishing for the umpteenth time that night that his drink was alcoholic.

"Wishing he'd take a hit on you?" Roy's question didn't really sound like a question and Dick decided to ignore it as he stared longingly at Roy's still mostly full glass. "Oh, no, nuh uh, I am not facing Bat's wrath for giving his underage birdie alcohol." Roy, noticing Dick's wistful gaze and knowing his addled thought processes when it came to Wally, quickly snatched his glass out of the younger's reach.

Heaving out a sigh, Dick turned back to his sad looking glass of ginger ale. "Probably for the best anyways."

Knowing that he had to head off Dick's self-deprecating moping before it got rolling, Roy quickly steered the conversation in a different direction. "So, how has life been?" Inwardly wincing, Roy realized that he was about as subtle as a drunk elephant. Dick did give a small snuffle of laughter though, and looked up with a grateful smile.

"Not bad, all in all. I'm still in school, majoring in criminal justice and planning on becoming a police officer. Bruce is, needless to say, completely thrilled with the idea." Dick rolled his eyes to emphasize his sarcasm. "I'm thinking of moving out after school to wing it on my own and, again, Bruce is thrilled." Dick shook his head, dark bangs falling annoyingly into his face and he blew at them in vain.

"He just doesn't want to let you grow up yet." Roy couldn't help but smile at the protectiveness of one of the scariest men he'd ever met. "He'll get used to the idea though." Roy promised, reaching up to help Dick with his bangs.

"One can only hope." Dick emptied his tumbler in one gulp, motioning for the bartender to pour him another. "I've always been impressed with you for going out on your own, you know. The rest of us were still following our mentors like puppies while you were breaking your leash."

"I got fed up." Roy shrugged, looking down at the scrubbed counter as he clearly remembered the day he'd shed his sidekick role and went out on his own. "I don't regret the decision, the execution maybe but never the decision."

Dick was silent for a long minute before quietly admitting, "I don't want to lose him."

Not knowing if Dick was talking about Bruce or Wally, Roy was about to assure his friend that he wouldn't lose either when a particularly loud bout of laughter reached his ear. Looking behind him, Roy saw that Wally now had two girls in his lap and was currently shoving his tongue down one of their throats.

"Don't know what the hell I see in him." Dick mused, voice void of any malice that Roy felt should have been in it. "I've been bit for nine years and it's not getting any better. Hell, I've been chasing after him for nearly half my life." Dick's laugh was devoid of any humor as he once again glanced at Roy's glass, prompting the redhead to finish his drink before Dick tackled him for it. "Then of course he and Artemis got together and they've been dating for two years..."

"Correction, they've been fighting for two years." Roy pointed out, glad to have finally found a bright spot to the increasingly depressing conversation. "I wouldn't be surprised if he's still stuck on first base with her." Roy's comment, to his delight, got a genuine laugh out of the younger hero.

"How come I can never stay moody with you around?" Dick demanded, smile taking the sting out of his words.

"'Cause I'm just awesome like that." Roy grinned, slinging an arm around Dick's shoulders in a one-armed hug.

"Hey-hey guys." A very inebriated Wally was suddenly next to them, stumbling over his own feet as he gripped the counter for balance. "Those gurls over thar is giving out free kissins, you shud go ge' some!"

"Oh dear." Roy's words didn't even come close to encompassing the cringing Dick's insides were doing. "Wally, you have a girlfriend."

"Who will absolutely murder me for letting him do this." Dick's words were muffled as he'd exasperatedly hidden his face behind a hand.

"Oh you thilly red person, you worry tooo much. Goo' thing imma blonde!" Wally practically shouted as he threw his arms out and attempted to take off but was hindered by Dick's hand firmly grasping a wrist.

"Okay blondie, time to get you home." Dick decided as he stood up, nearly stumbling back when Wally took that as a sign to drape himself all over his smaller friend.

"You's the best friend I ever had, you know that?" Wally had a loopy grin on his face as Dick struggled to hold them both up and Roy looked on in amusement. "And it's mah burthday, but you no give me any kisses. All them other girls did." Dick's heart suddenly stuttered to a halt at Wally's petulant pout.

"Oh Wally, you have just made my week." Roy completely ignored the death glare Dick was shooting him as he stood up and took one of Wally's arms from around Dick's neck. "Come on shortie, let's get lover boy here into your car so he can molest you on the ride home."

"I'm gonna hurt you tomorrow." Dick muttered darkly as he hefted Wally's arm more securely around his shoulders before heading towards the door.

Walking with Wally's dead weight in between him and Roy was difficult, to say the least, and getting him into his car was even harder, but Dick finally managed to buckle his squirming friend in and close the door before turning to Roy. A wicked smile had possessed the older redhead's lips, making Dick give him a playful shove before getting pulled into a brotherly hug.

"Don't let blondie get you down, you hear? You are so above moping over ginger ale." Roy murmured, pulling back to ruffle at Dick's hair. "Buckle up and watch the road kid." Dick rolled his eyes at the statement but clasped Roy's elbow in silent thanks before rounding the car and getting into the driver's seat.

"Heeheehee, look at the shiny lights." Wally giggled from the passenger seat, head tilted back as he gazed out of the sunroof.

"They're called stars Wals," Dick replied patiently as he started the car.

The second the engine roared into life Wally rolled his window down to call out to Roy still on the curb. "Hey red! Guess who's gettin' lucky tonight?"

"Definitely not you." Dick managed to mutter over Roy's laughter, ignoring the archer's doubled over figure as he tore away from the curb.

* * *

><p>"Dick," Wally whined as Dick tried to wrestle him into bed.<p>

Dick kept his mouth firmly shut, knowing that if he allowed himself to open it he'd start shouting obscenities at his best friend after hauling him up the three flights of stairs to his apartment in Central because, of course, the elevator decided to kick the bucket the night that Dick needed it most.

"Why won't you kiss me?" Wally had lost his odd drunken slur but was now as clingy as a baby koala and refused to release Dick from the death hold he had on him.

"Because!" Dick finally exploded, gathering the rest of his strength to push Wally onto his bed. "You're drunk, you have a girlfriend, and for as long as I've pined after you you've never shown any desire to kiss me while sober! I am _not_ a drunken play thing for you!"

The second Dick's anger was released he instantly regretted it. Wally's emerald green eyes suddenly widened and gathered moisture as his lower lip began trembling.

"Oh, shit, Wally-" Dick tried to stop it but it was too late, as he suddenly had his sobbing best friend flung around his midsection and soaking his shirt with salty tears. "Wally...Wally," Dick tried to get the redhead's attention but had the feeling Wally couldn't hear him over his sobbing.

"Y-you don-don't love me anymore!" Wally's lips against Dick's tummy tickled, making the younger huff in exasperation.

"Wally, stop it. You know I love you, or at least you should." Dick reached down to tangle his right hand into Wally's ruffled locks. "But you don't want to kiss me, trust me." Dick's words, rather than soothe, seemed to only cause Wally to cry harder. "Why did you have to be a weepy drunk?" Dick mumbled, feeling his back start to cramp from the position Wally was holding him in.

"If you won't kiss me, w-will you stay the night with me?" Wally finally looked up, eyes red-rimmed but no less beautiful in Dick's eyes.

"You're gonna kill me someday." Dick sighed, untangling his hand to gently wipe at Wally's wet cheeks. "Come on then," Dick nudged Wally further onto the bed before shedding his cargo shorts and joining him.

Wally eagerly undressed himself as well before burrowing under his covers, waiting expectantly for Dick to join him. The second Dick slipped in beside him Wally reattached himself to Dick's front and appeared to be snuggling in for the night. Resigning himself to the fact that he'd be sleeping with his infatuation wrapped around him, Dick decided to take advantage of it and wrapped his arms around Wally's shoulders.

"Happy birthday Wally." Dick breathed to his already asleep bedmate, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead before dozing off himself.

* * *

><p>Waking up, even without a hangover to deal with, was never pleasant when the sun decided it was in a chipper mood. As dreams started to blur into annoyingly bright reality, Dick's mind registered two things. First thing: he was going to shoot one of his namesakes in the head if those damn robins didn't shut up. Second thing: his back was going to kill him all day from having Wally tightly wrapped around him all night.<p>

"Ngh, too bright." Wally's groggy voice grumbled from somewhere around Dick's neck, making Dick chuckle at the thought that for as miserable as it was for him to wake up, it had to be about a thousand times worse for Wally. "What the hell happened last night?" Wally seemed unconcerned that he was wrapped around his half naked best friend, he himself in an admirable state of undressed.

"Let's just say, we're never telling Artemis." Dick laughed, reaching up to rub soothing circles into Wally's back as the redhead attempted to burrow himself into Dick's chest to escape the sunlight.

"Maybe we should, that way she'd stop clinging to me." Wally mumbled, unconsciously nuzzling against a ticklish spot of Dick's. Even in his not quite awake mind, Dick realized there was some kind of significance behind those words that should mean something to him but he was still too tired to figure out what that could be.

Silence blanketed the two of them as Wally dozed in and out of a light sleep and Dick continued to hold him, eyes lazily gazing out the window at the happily chirping birds that still grated on Dick's nerves a bit. Wally needed to get curtains, or at least blinds. Maybe for Christmas.

_Tweet! Tweet tweet tweeeeeet!_

Nope, Wally was getting those curtains as soon as he got his ass up.

"M'got any coffee?" Wally asked, eyes still shut but beginning to flutter back open.

"I drank it all last Saturday after I escaped from the hospital." Dick reminded him.

"Mm, right. You gotta stop getting hurt in the middle of the night." Wally finally disentangled himself from Dick and shuffled up into a sitting position. "I need coffee though." He pouted, rubbing at his throbbing headache.

"So get in the shower, get dressed, let me steal some clothes, and we'll go down to that Starbucks down the street to blow way too much on a vanilla mocha cap." Dick replied, sitting up as well so that the sheets were now pooled around both of their waists.

"Knew there was a reason I kept you around." Wally grinned, winding a hand behind Dick's neck to pull him in for a soft kiss that was nothing more than a gentle press of lips on lips. Releasing his shocked friend, Wally's grin grew impossibly wider as he jumped out of bed and then promptly fell over due to getting tangled in the sheets.

"Smooth." Dick commented with a wry smile, leaning over to look down at Wally's sprawled figure on the floor.

"Just getting that birthday kiss you owed me." Wally winked before rolling over and crawling towards his bathroom. "Give me fifteen minutes!" He called from the hallway, making Dick laugh quietly as he flopped over onto his back to stare up at the peeling ceiling of Wally's bedroom.

The pipes in the walls stuttered to life and Wally's yelp from the bathroom indicated that, once again, hot water was nonexistent, and Dick couldn't help but smile.


	2. Drunk

A/N: I really did try to leave well enough alone, but this idea just fit so perfectly with _Sober _that I couldn't resist. I absolutely adore _Sober_ for the sweet kiss at the end, but it just didn't seem quite complete. Until now!

**Drunk**

Coffee, Dick decided, was a wondrous magical liquid substance. It could make an absolutely crappy morning seem so much brighter as it flowed happily through one's veins to play with sensitive nerve endings. Coffee could not, however, make this horridly awkward situation any better, magical powers or not.

Sitting quietly at a little round outdoor table with his innocently steaming cup of coffee, Dick watched from behind his dark shades as a livid blonde and indignant redhead had what could quite possible be the loudest yelling match a Starbucks has ever witnessed. Dick had been privy to many of the heated verbal spats between the two, and so knew that it'd just be best to let them have at it while hoping for no flying projectiles. However, everyone around them did not know that threatening painful castration was actually a common threat from the blonde, and so Dick quickly became the only audience member as he tried hard to ignore the startled stares of passing pedestrians.

Wally and Artemis had never had the smoothest of relationships, even from before they had started dating. Nowadays, most arguments were started because Artemis was apparently pissed that Wally couldn't be bothered to come up with good dates and was fed up with basically everything that Wally did or didn't do. Wally, in an attempt to gain some sanity, had taken to hiding out at Dick's place for long spans of time as the two of them had more fun than he'd ever had with Artemis. This, of course, only served to piss the girl off even more.

Sipping at his coffee and staring out at the bustling Central City streets, Dick could gather from the various excerpts of shouting that he couldn't block out that Artemis had a friend who had been at the bar last night when - oh. Glancing up at his aggravated best friend, a big gulp of coffee was ingested as Dick silently noted that Wally was fucked.

Having turned twenty-one yesterday, Wally had wanted to hit up a bar now that he was legal, despite Artemis' wishes for a nice dinner in with just the two of them. They'd had their fight, as was the method that most of the decisions that they made were carried out with, and in the end Wally had decided that the only way he wanted to spend his birthday was with his best friend while doing something stupid.

At that point, a hapless Dick Grayson had found himself involved in the argument that only ended after Artemis had threatened his manhood should Wally do anything stupid. Wally had, of course, done several things the previous night that could be considered stupid, which meant that not only was he going to get a castration but also-

"And you!" Artemis was practically hissing as she rounded on Dick, who'd gone an admirable amount of time unnoticed. "You just sat there and _let_ him cheat on me with a bunch of man grabbing whores!"

Dick slowly set his mostly empty cup down with a slightly mournful air. No more coffee for him, it seemed.

"It was just drunken kissing, it didn't mean anything." Wally's tired tone told Dick that he'd probably already said that line a few times while Dick had been zoning them out. "And stop trying to bring him into this, it wasn't his fault."

Artemis' eyes flashed dangerously, causing the hairs on the back of Dick's neck to bristle as he sensed an unusually bad change in her aura. Wally and Artemis had been standing about a foot apart for the duration of their fight after Artemis had stormed in out of nowhere, but now she was eliminating that space as she got right up in Wally's face.

"You want to know something, Wally? I'm sure he enjoyed what you did last night. I'd even bet on him planning it just because he knew this would happen." Dick was now thoroughly convinced that Artemis was losing it as he stared at her in unseen bewilderment.

"What the hell are you going on about now?" Wally groaned as he closed his eyes and rubbed furiously at the headache pounding behind them that was only getting worse.

Dick's head was swiveling back and forth between the two, wondering in disbelief if allegations against him were frequently made during their fights. Maybe he should start listening more, he may just have some righteous indignation due.

"He's in love with you!" Artemis practically screamed.

_Oh. Well. Shit fucking damn._

"What?!" Wally's eyes were as wide as Dick was sure his own currently were, even though only Wally's were visible.

Dick's eyes were glued in horror to the couple in front of him, but he was sure that if he bothered to look around he'd see quite a few people gawking at Artemis' carrying statement. At this point, even an angered Starbucks manager kicking them out would be a blessing, but they were probably all too busy being entertained by Dick's unfolding misery as Artemis kept talking.

"Anyone with a pair of eyes could see that he's been head over fucking heels for you for years, he's probably been looking for ways to break us up ever since we got together." Artemis' eyes had lit up as she found the perfect person to blame everything wrong in her relationship on.

Staring morosely into his cup, Dick came to the sad conclusion that he had definitely not drunk enough coffee to make this seem any less worse than it was.

"Night?" Wally asked uncertainly, turning to stare imploringly at his best friend whose true identity was still only his to know.

Pushing his chair back with a brief scraping of metal on stone, Dick stood from the table and walked slowly around it so that he was now standing facing a vindictive looking Artemis. Dick decided, as his lips set in a thin line and his eyes blazed behind his sunglasses, that if Artemis wanted to play then he was game.

"Yes, Artemis, I have been in love with your boyfriend since I first met him. But if you think that because of that I would sabotage his relationship with someone he liked, then obviously you don't know what it means to say that you love someone." Dick was glad that he'd finally hit his growth spurt, as he now stood a half head taller than a gaping Artemis.

Glancing out of the corner of his eye, Dick could see that Wally was also openly gaping at him with a myriad of emotions flashing through his eyes. Good, maybe now he'd listen.

"If being with you is what makes him happy, then why would I want to ruin that? Loving someone means putting their happiness above yours, even when it hurts like hell, and if being with you is what makes him happy then so be it. You put him down every chance you get and make his life miserable, and I get to watch that all the time knowing that I'd _never_ do that if he were mine. But no matter how much I wish he were mine, for some god knows what reason he wants you, so that's how the story goes." Dick's anger filled eyes never left the morphing expressions on Artemis' face, even as unbidden tears began to blur his vision.

"Don't ever try to say that I love him any less than that."

* * *

><p>"What. The hell. Do you think you're doing?" Roy's voice was dangerously deadpan as he came across a familiar figure sat at the end of the counter in his favorite bar for the second night in a row.<p>

"I'm not allowed to drink my misery away, but I _am_ allowed to give myself lung cancer." Dick explained happily as he brought the cigarette he held to his lips, taking in a deep drag before blowing out the smoke. Roy did not want to think about how many cancer sticks Dick had consumed to make the action look so practiced.

Dropping onto the barstool beside Dick's in wordless incredulity, Roy noticed the red-rimmed bloodshot blue eyes and the slight quivering of downturned lips. Glancing at the empty glasses lined up in front of his friend, Roy closed his eyes in a brief silent prayer before asking his next question.

"Dick, are you drunk?"

Deep, dark blue looked innocently back at Roy as the older man glared sternly down at the nineteen year old. Dick even had the gall to look offended.

"Of course not, why would-" Dick's words were cut short by a mouth on his and an insistent tongue tasting every crevice, down to each individual tooth, before sweeping over his own unresponsive tongue.

Pulling back to glare once more at the wide eyed deer-in-the-headlights expression on Dick's face, calloused fingers plucked the half smoked cigarette from Dick's frozen ones as Roy snatched the closest ashtray and snubbed the joint out. The taste of alcohol and nicotine were heavy on Roy's tongue, and he was feeling murderous enough that a certain archer he knew would do well to avoid him for a long while.

"What did she do?"

Dick's shoulders sagged as he snuggled into the warm dark hoodie he'd stolen from Wally. It was too small for the speedster but fit Dick like a glove, and if he imagined hard enough he could almost believe that the hoodie still smelled like Wally.

"She ruined my life." Dick replied gloomily, to which Roy rolled his eyes in impatience.

"A little more specificity, if you would."

Roy watched as Dick rested his elbows on the bar counter and began toying with his empty glasses, which prompted a flirtatious looking bartender to come prancing over. However, one pointed glare and low growl from Roy had the man scooting off in the other direction.

"Don't scare Adrian, he's the only bartender I can flirt drinks out of." Dick, having grown up under Batman's scowl, didn't even blink at the dark look Roy was now leveling on him.

"You're skirting the question. What did she do?" Roy asked again through gritted teeth, his patience starting to wear thin. Sensing this, Dick sighed in melancholic resignation.

"She told Wally."

"That bitch." Roy replied instantly before blinking in surprise at himself. Maybe he'd been conditioned after so many support sessions where he let Dick rant to his heart's content. If he wasn't careful he'd become the stereotypical gay best friend…to a gay…even though he was straight…Roy decided to wave Adrian over to pour him some much needed alcohol.

Dick watched in undisguised amusement as Roy drained half his glass in one gulp before his expression turned thoughtful, which Roy dimly registered was never a good sign.

"Why couldn't I have been straight?" Yep, never a good sign. "I could have fallen for Barbara if I were straight. Or even if I had to be gay I could have fallen for anyone, _anyone_, but Wally. I could have fallen for you and it'd still have ended better!" Dick was off on his, what Roy was convinced, alcohol addled rant as Roy sat there drinking his drink and wondering how these things happened to him.

"Aw, I'm hurt. I didn't think I was that replaceable." A new voice cut in, causing Dick's head to swivel around to send an obviously nervous Wally West a very chilly glare.

"Fuck off. I hate you." Dick turned around so that his rigid back was resolutely facing his best friend.

"Nah, you love me." Wally replied quietly, his head bowed as his one hand was shoved in a pocket and his other was folded protectively across his stomach.

Roy was far beyond tempted to bash their two thick skulls together. It was just so painfully obvious that they wanted each other. He managed to restrain himself, however, as he continued to sip on his blessedly numbing drink.

"Dick, we need to talk." Wally was obviously not prepared for Dick to whirl around on his stool with the thunderous expression that he had on his face, as an involuntary step back was made before Wally could get a grip on himself.

"Like hell we do. I already said that I'm sticking by you no matter what kind of stupid shit you do because I love you, you sorry ass. I love you, you know that now, so go back and suck up to your banshee of a girlfriend and let me wallow in peace." Dick finished his tirade nearly shouting as he swiveled back around to glare at his empty shot glasses that Roy was currently counting. The older man was sure that the number of glasses had to somehow correlate with the furious tears that were now leaking from Dick's eyes.

Stunned silence followed as wide green eyes stared at Dick wiping half-heartedly at his eyes with the sleeve of Wally's old hoodie.

Strong hands suddenly gripped Dick by the shoulders and spun him around, determined flashing green eyes visible for only a moment before a warm body was pressing Dick's against the counter and lips were desperately fused to his. Startled blue eyes stared at Wally's closed lids, so close that dusty red eyelashes were tickling Dick's cheeks, before Dick let his eyes close as he wrapped arms and legs around his best friend to pull him in closer.

Completely happy with his rum and coke for company, Roy started to let his eyes wander across the bar as Wally reached up to kiss away the few tears still clinging to Dick's lashes. Staring into endless blue eyes as his thumb gently traced over a tear stained cheek, Wally finally understood what drowning felt like.

"Richard Grayson, there isn't a person in this world who could ever love you like I do." Wally confessed softly, reaching forward to kiss every fresh tear from Dick's cheeks as they fell, the salty drops born from the meaning of Wally's words rushing through Dick's being like wildfire.

Closing his eyes as another kiss, much gentler this time, was pressed to his lips, Dick still had his ankles locked behind Wally's knees and his arms around Wally's neck with his fingers twined firmly with soft red locks.

"Wals, I think I'm drunk." Dick whispered, eyes never leaving Wally's as their lips were still brushed up against each other.

"Love drunk?" Wally asked hopefully, nuzzling his nose against Dick's and delighting in the shy nuzzle he got in return.

"I don't…think so?" Dick murmured, looking so adorably confused that Wally just had to kiss him again.


End file.
